Excuse my language, but it is the truth. The holidays took a definite toll.
Truthfully, I can’t blame the holidays. I am the one to blame. I just took on too much. So much that it took away from the joy that you are supposed to find during the season.
Frankly, I was excited for it to be over. Sad, I know. And the second that it was I came down with a horrific cold that I am still battling today. I literally ran myself into the ground and my body was pissed about it.
Why did I do that to myself? Why do we all tend to do that to ourselves?
A large part of it, I have come to realize, is my incessant need to make sure everyone around me is happy. Even if it makes me miserable.
I am blessed to have two children, but not so blessed to have both of their birthdays fall during the holiday season. My son is right at Thanksgiving and my daughter is a few days before Christmas.
We always have a party for the kids birthdays. Unfortunately, I am not skilled in hosting small parties. I always find myself making things bigger than they need to be.
This year I made the mistake at having both of the parties at our house. Those parties along with hosting Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve as well as hosting friends and family during the holidays, made for a very overwhelmed and unhappy Mama and Wife.
I think I do a good job of holding it together in front of the kids and friends and family. Unfortunately, that means my husband takes the brunt of my insanity.
It’s kind of an out-of-body experience. I run through each day trying to tick off the things on my endless to do list, snapping at hubby at every turn, only to crash at the end of the day and start all over with the same madness the next morning. I couldn’t even sleep well because my head was so full of what I had to accomplish the next day.
Sure, everyone had a really great Christmas, but would it have really made a difference if I had baked one less batch of cookies? Or would it have ruined Christmas if I hadn’t gone to 3 stores to find that extra thing for the stockings? I’m sure it wouldn’t have.
Luckily, it seems that husband still loves me, or at least he says he does 🙂 Maybe all of that hard work that we put into the marriage the rest of the year paid off. It allowed us to cut each other some slack when we really needed it.
Today’s lesson in improving my marriage: My New Years resolution in 2013 is to not pack so much in during the holidays this year. My husband deserves better from me. I deserve better from me.
Picture from http://www.inkity.com