Learning to fight better, accept more, appreciate daily and stay in love with my husband

Archive for December, 2011

Run Away With Me

Last December I learned the value taking some time away with my husband.  Amongst the madness of the holiday season, my husband and I put it all aside for 5 days and  ran away together.  We went on a cruise to Cabo San Lucas.   Just the two of us.

For some parents this might seem unheard of,  wrong in their eyes even.  To leave the kids behind for 5 days and be completely selfish.  I have to admit, I felt incredibly guilty at first.  Something that comes rather easy to me, guilt. 

Heading off to have a wonderful time without the kiddos, during the busiest time of the year, leaving work, kids, dog  and responsibility in the very capable and willing hands of our parents.  It was too selfish right?  Definitely!  But, I did it anyway.

Last year at this time, my husband and I were not in the greatest place.  It had been a long year of trying to find our way back to connection, romance, wanting to fall in love again.  It had been a struggle.  Probably the toughest year of our marriage.  We felt desperate for time away together.  I couldn’t wait to get him away from his phone and computer and he couldn’t wait to have the attention that I usually devoted to the kids, all to himself.

Let me tell you the great thing about a cruise.  There is no distractions.  No where to go.  No schedule to adhere too (unless you are like me and can’t resist being a spectator at  the Hairy Chest Competition.  I had to see that one for my own eyes!) No computer.  No cell phone. Ok well, they have these, it just costs a small fortune to use them.  This was one time that my husband’s desire to save every penny completely worked to my benefit.

The days on the cruise are filled with sunshine, endless ocean, romantic dinners, delicious food and peace and quiet.  Maybe if you have been on a cruise you would not agree, but for us, it was sheer magic.  Five whole days of magic.

It was during that time that I remembered all of those things that I love about my husband.  All those things that are so hard to find in the normal day-to-day life.  Between kids, fatigue, work, obligations, it is easy to lose sight. 

Suddenly, I have his complete attention.  We stared at each other over dessert.  We laughed.  We watched the sunset.  We watched endless movies.  We held each other and watched the ocean outside of our balcony. We had more sex than we had in the last 2 months put together.  We, quite literally, couldn’t keep our hands off of each other.  Who were these people? 

 We fell in love . . . again.

It, quite honestly, put us back on track.  It was there that we vowed to make our marriage first again.  To take important steps to make sure that some of that magic that we found on the high seas, lasted all year. 

Guess what!  It did.  This was the best year in the life of our marriage.   Amid all of the chaos of health issues, surgeries, family illness, children, insane work schedules, travel, we held it together like never before.  Don’t get me wrong, this year took a lot of day-to-day work to maintain the connection.  Five days in heaven can’t make a marriage last, but it definitely doesn’t hurt.

We believed so much in the power of the cruise, that we did it again this year.  This month we cashed in our American Express bonus points and headed back to Cabo.  Again, magic.  I feel ready to tackle a new year with my husband by my side.  We  found passion, connection, romance.  It is a beautiful thing.

Now, I do realize that  a cruise is not necessarily an easy thing to run off and do  for many people.  I happen to live by 2 major cruise ship ports.  That, however, is not the point. The point is to find your way back to each other by leaving everything  else behind.  Even if just for a couple of days.  Whatever you can manage. 

Don’t think I am an awful person for leaving behind the kids while I go have the time of my life.  We do a family vacation every year as well, but I belive that my husband and I have started a new  tradition of an annual lovers vacation.  Ok sounds corny, but whatever.  That is what it is.  A journey back to love.  And it is awesome!!!

Today’s lesson to a better marriage:  Run away together