I was flipping through one of my magazines this morning while enjoying a moment of peace over my oatmeal. I came across an article on how couples sleep together. Do they go to sleep at the same time, share the same bed, do they sleep cuddled together or facing away from each other? What does the way we sleep say about us as a couple?
This was interesting to me. Movies show us that a couple who is in love is spooned together in bed or the woman is sleeping on the man’s chest. Sweet right? This is what love looks like… right?
Wrong! At least in my marriage, this is not the case. But, I have always felt a little guilty about the sleeping habits in my marriage.
My husband and I are very different in more ways than I can count, but one of our major differences is in our sleeping habits. He is a late night guy, I struggle to keep my eyes open past 10:30. I wake up at the faintest noise, he sleeps through 5.5 magnitude earthquakes. I have nightmares often, he rarely dreams at all. He sleeps on his stomach, I sleep on my side. He falls asleep 2 seconds after his head hits the pillow, it takes me 15 minutes to get in sleep mode. I need at least 8 hours to function well, he can easily function on 5 hours of shut-eye.
Sleep is vital to me. I am not a nice person when I don’t get my sleep.
Because of the fact that I am a light sleeper, falling asleep all cuddled together is just not for me. If I am not positioned just so, I am uncomfortable and sleep eludes me. Sorry, baby!
Thankfully my husband understands. It doesn’t bother him. To make up for it, I let him fall asleep holding my hand or with his arm drapped over me, but the second he is asleep (literally in seconds) I turn away and get cozy.
Does this mean our relationship is bad? That we are not as intimate as we could be? I think the contrary. Respecting each other needs is vital. I respect his need to feel close to me and he respects my need to get a good nights sleep.
Really, it is for his own good. Heaven help the household with an un-rested Mama. If Mama is tired, everybody look out!!!
Intimacy is a huge part of our relationship, just not while we are sleeping. It works for us.
This made me curious about what works for other couples. Are sleeping arrangements a problem in your marriage or have you figured a system that works for both of you? One that meets each other’s needs, but keeps you connected?