Learning to fight better, accept more, appreciate daily and stay in love with my husband

It’s My Birthday!

This is my first post of my new venture of writing a blog.  Peer pressure has gotten to me.  “Everybody is doing it.”  So here I am!

I hope to not be, “just another blog.”  I hope to offer some insight into a marriage of 13 years, that is getting better with age. 

Quick background:  I met my future hubby in the seventh grade.  Really, I did!  Slightly unusual story, but true.  We were best friends until the start of 10th grade, where it all changed.  One kiss and we never looked back.  We were voted “Most Likely to Get Married” in our senior yearbook.   Twenty two years later, here we are.  Very happily married with two kids and a life that most dream of.  I am blessed. 

But a happy marriage does not come easy.  I have learned to question the fairy tales I read as a little girl.  We all know they lived “happily ever after,”  but what about all the in-between.  Those fairy tales don’t mention the fights that Cinderella and the Prince had about money due to their different backgrounds.  They never mentioned how exhausted Snow White was after a day of caring for everyone but herself.  They never mentioned personality differences and annoying habits of your spouse.   How did they get to the elusive happy every after?

Here is what the fairy tales don’t say.  Happily ever after is hard.  Odds say, it’s damn near impossible!

But the saying, “hard work pays off,” is true in this case. I believe two willing partners who love each other, put their heart and soul into their marriage and make it priority can have the happy ever after. 

Don’t get me wrong, I am only 37 years old, today actually (that is the first time that I have had to write my new age.  Slightly terrifying).  I still have a ton of work to do to ensure that when I am 92 I am still “in love” with my sweetie.  But in the last year, my husband and I have put our all into our marriage and I have learned some fantastic tricks to fighting better, appreciating daily, accepting more and staying “in love” with my husband.  Who knows, maybe my tricks will help you too.

As I write this first post, I am sitting in a hotel room on the morning of my birthday.  A wonderful and slightly naughty gift to myself.  My husband and I checked in last night (and, let’s just say, had a good time 🙂 )  But, then he headed back home to relieve his dad from watching the kids and I stayed the night and am currently enjoying and entire morning to myself and revelling in the peace and quiet  (except for the room across  the hall that has the TV blaring.  I mean,  really? When I can sing along with the commercials, that is just too damn loud! ).   All that I have  had to worry about is what to do for breakfast and when to take my shower. 

Everybody should get time away for themselves.  Sure it is hard to find the time, costs a little money sometimes, and does not come without a little guilt.  But once you give in to it, it is sheer bliss!!!

Thank you to my sweet hubby for supporting me in having a morning away.  It is delicious.  Happy Birthday to Me!!!!



Comments on: "It’s My Birthday!" (6)

  1. We just celebrated our 15th anniversary…yikes! Nobody told me it was this much work…

  2. I hear ya! Congrats on 15 years! It is no small feat 🙂

  3. Tammy,

    Congratulations on your new blog, and more importantly on your marriage! I look forward to reading more of your topics.

    I’ve been married for 15 years to my lovely wife. For the first 13 years of marriage, we did not live a fairytale. We had struggled and sacrificed and I worked my butt off to keep the house a-float. Meanwhile…my wife was at home raising kids and wondering “Is that ALL there is??”

    I’m glad back in 2008, I “woke up” from my own slumber and starting making our marriage a priority. Now we are growing closer together as we move forward.

    For your Blog, some tips for you:

    1) Don’t write an article every day. It puts too much pressure on you to create new content and to come up with new topics. You’ll fall into a rhythm eventually and your readers will begin to know your patterns.

    2) Leave lots of comments on other blogs, they will reciprocate! The last thing you want is a blog full of posts that each have 0 comments. It makes you feel like your talking but no one is listening… (kinda like some marriages).

    3) Have Fun! Have fun meeting new people and developing relationships with your readers and other bloggers. This is a very rewarding way to spend your time.

    4) Consider getting a domain name outside of wordpress.com when you get bigger. Having your own domains with self-hosted wordpress installed on it will give you more control over the look, feel, and function of your website. Visit my blog for an example of what you can do with that.

    That’s all I have for now,


    • David, I can’t thank you enough for, first of all, taking the time to read my post and secondly for your generous advice. I really appreciate it. It is so fun to start doing something for me, that I feel passionately about. You have a beautiful site. Something to strive to emulate. I am new to the whole blogging thing, so the challenge of getting people to see it seems daunting, but I am up for the challenge.

      Thank you for sharing about your own marriage. Congratulations on 15 years, but more importantly, for making it a priority. I wish you the very best, as you continue to work on it and make improvements. It seems that when my marrriage is right, all is right with the world. All the other challenges that life throws my way are so much easier to handle.

      Thank you again for taking the time to write to me. Seeing someone comment on my blog is an amazing feeling.

      Best wishes to you,

  4. this is great! I always say that marriage is hard work, but it’s the best job I’ve ever had. Sure, I love my children (more than my many, many words can say), but the best thing we can give them is an example of a happy, successful marriage.

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